








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5000 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2807 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2610 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5194 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 3103 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,130,238 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 791 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minime | 22 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Es҉c | 15 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Grazas | 14 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Cara5 | 12 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | Binky | 10 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Es҉c | 315 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Cara5 | 171 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Grazas | 168 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Minime | 109 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kalashmeister | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |





