








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2709 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2505 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3224 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1783 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,077,400 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ DiiNNo | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | Señor VAC | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | ♔Golden Gypsy♔ | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Kalashmeister | 52% | 52 |
| #5 | Stase | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Señor VAC | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | ♔Golden Gypsy♔ | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Kalashmeister | 52% | 52 |
| #5 | Stase | 46% | 28 |
| #6 | Aurimas( ͜• 人 ͜• ) | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalashmeister | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | ✪ DiiNNo | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Señor VAC | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ♔Golden Gypsy♔ | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Aurimas( ͜• 人 ͜• ) | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor VAC | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Stase | 75 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kalashmeister | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Aurimas( ͜• 人 ͜• ) | 58 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ DiiNNo | 48 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cannabis | +2.47 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | Kalashmeister | +1.72 | 90 | 60 |
| #3 | ✪ DiiNNo | -0.67 | 77 | 45 |
| #4 | Aurimas( ͜• 人 ͜• ) | -0.80 | 82 | 70 |
| #5 | Señor VAC | -1.20 | 75 | 57 |





