








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
764 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 378 | 30% |
| Smokes | 77 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 500 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 303 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,550 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NPX π | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | $enor Rat @ttack | 73% | 22 |
| #3 | LDK | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | DTK | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NPX π | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | $enor Rat @ttack | 73% | 22 |
| #3 | LDK | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | DTK | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | LDK | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | $enor Rat @ttack | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | NPX π | 1 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LDK | 164 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 114 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | $enor Rat @ttack | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | NPX π | 22 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | DTK | 22 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NPX π | +3.09 | 57 | 81 |
| #2 | $enor Rat @ttack | +2.10 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | retribution | +1.89 | 71 | 57 |
| #4 | LDK | -0.17 | 46 | 66 |
| #5 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | -0.34 | 78 | 62 |





