








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2064 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2235 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1971 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2430 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,427 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Sharpie- | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | n0xxy | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | P3nnyCS | 66% | 35 |
| #4 | 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕨𝕔𝕜𝕫 | 64% | 45 |
| #5 | toasty | 60% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | toasty | 60% | 57 |
| #6 | BATSPEED | 58% | 53 |
| #7 | madss | 58% | 36 |
| #8 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 51% | 51 |
| #9 | jawn pork | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toasty | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕨𝕔𝕜𝕫 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | madss | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | P3nnyCS | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕨𝕔𝕜𝕫 | 207 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 196 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | toasty | 191 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | BATSPEED | 140 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | madss | 113 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Sharpie- | +2.14 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | P3nnyCS | +2.12 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | BATSPEED | +1.75 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | toasty | +1.51 | 84 | 57 |
| #5 | 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕨𝕔𝕜𝕫 | +1.37 | 87 | 69 |





