








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 692 | 36% |
| Smokes | 556 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 179 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 509 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $133,232 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Sharpie- | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | branna | 100% | 5 |
| #3 | sM1les | 100% | 7 |
| #4 | n0xxy | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 75% | 4 |
| #6 | toasty | 68% | 38 |
| #7 | Jachro | 66% | 35 |
| #8 | madss | 64% | 33 |
| #9 | 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕨𝕔𝕜𝕫 | 63% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | madss | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | toasty | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕨𝕔𝕜𝕫 | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Jachro | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕨𝕔𝕜𝕫 | 170 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | madss | 109 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | toasty | 103 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jachro | 91 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | sM1les | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sM1les | +8.14 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | P3nnyCS | +2.89 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕨𝕔𝕜𝕫 | +1.95 | 90 | 67 |
| #4 | toasty | +1.92 | 85 | 58 |
| #5 | n0xxy | +0.17 | 66 | 58 |





