








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 571 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 172 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9273 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7511 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6691 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6032 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,388,002 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OLL": | 56% | 235 |
| #2 | BirchForest | 52% | 46 |
| #3 | FjobX | 52% | 512 |
| #4 | Sl1 | 52% | 56 |
| #5 | yan | 51% | 531 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sl1 | 52% | 56 |
| #5 | yan | 51% | 531 |
| #6 | whatsnxt | 51% | 486 |
| #7 | Corona | 50% | 265 |
| #8 | --Tan-- | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yan | 21 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | FjobX | 12 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | whatsnxt | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | OLL": | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | --Tan-- | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yan | 1173 | 0.11 | 30 min |
| #2 | FjobX | 1047 | 0.10 | 27 min |
| #3 | whatsnxt | 446 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #4 | Corona | 315 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | OLL": | 172 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yan | +0.98 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | Roc | +0.87 | 89 | 78 |
| #3 | OLL": | +0.63 | 88 | 56 |
| #4 | BirchForest | -0.13 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | FjobX | -0.33 | 80 | 64 |





