










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1431 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1210 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1466 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1350 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,200 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corona | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Sl1 | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | OLL": | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | yan | 49% | 77 |
| #5 | whatsnxt | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | OLL": | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | yan | 49% | 77 |
| #5 | whatsnxt | 47% | 68 |
| #6 | FjobX | 45% | 69 |
| #7 | Roc | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yan | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | FjobX | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Roc | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Corona | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | OLL": | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roc | 212 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | yan | 172 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | FjobX | 138 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | whatsnxt | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sl1 | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OLL": | +3.00 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | Roc | +2.18 | 89 | 78 |
| #3 | yan | +1.28 | 91 | 67 |
| #4 | FjobX | +0.33 | 78 | 69 |
| #5 | Corona | -0.24 | 89 | 55 |





