








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1732 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1283 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1651 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2393 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,642,995 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sl1 | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | --Tan-- | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | OLL": | 54% | 69 |
| #4 | FjobX | 51% | 244 |
| #5 | yan | 50% | 282 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yan | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | FjobX | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Roc | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | OLL": | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | whatsnxt | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roc | 796 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #2 | yan | 657 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | FjobX | 570 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | whatsnxt | 189 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | muts | 60 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | copycat | +1.51 | 71 | 72 |
| #2 | yan | +1.15 | 91 | 66 |
| #3 | OLL": | +0.89 | 89 | 58 |
| #4 | Roc | +0.63 | 89 | 79 |
| #5 | FjobX | -0.09 | 80 | 65 |





