








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1548 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2815 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2721 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2455 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,139,064 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sl1 | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | yan | 57% | 273 |
| #3 | SlavaBogu | 57% | 53 |
| #4 | Roc | 56% | 235 |
| #5 | whatsnxt | 54% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yan | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | FjobX | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Roc | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | NaljaMees | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | whatsnxt | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roc | 697 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | yan | 587 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | FjobX | 434 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | whatsnxt | 198 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | NaljaMees | 181 | 0.19 | 4 min |





