








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 878 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Faceit | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2148 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2648 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3496 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2168 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,507,743 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kdm87 | 53% | 187 |
| #5 | LaPine | 53% | 310 |
| #6 | ✪Traxs | 53% | 102 |
| #7 | life | 53% | 53 |
| #8 | Crispy | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | person70 | 24 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | kdm87 | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | ✪Traxs | 15 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | uhMeyer | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | life | 8 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uhMeyer | 1065 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #2 | LaPine | 918 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #3 | person70 | 694 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #4 | kdm87 | 329 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | life | 207 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vert | +1.17 | 82 | 41 |
| #2 | ✪Traxs | +0.77 | 82 | 54 |
| #3 | uhMeyer | +0.38 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | person70 | +0.38 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | kdm87 | +0.22 | 77 | 54 |





