








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2377 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1457 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2808 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3189 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,363 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 396 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | life | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | person70 | 57% | 159 |
| #3 | uhMeyer | 54% | 290 |
| #4 | ✪Traxs | 54% | 61 |
| #5 | Vert | 53% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | person70 | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Vert | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ✪Traxs | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | uhMeyer | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | life | 5 | 0.0117 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uhMeyer | 689 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | LaPine | 519 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | person70 | 399 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Vert | 188 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪Traxs | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Traxs | +1.60 | 81 | 48 |
| #2 | kdm87 | +0.95 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | Vert | +0.84 | 81 | 43 |
| #4 | uhMeyer | +0.81 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | person70 | +0.15 | 83 | 65 |





