








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2099 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2447 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2376 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1925 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,702,855 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 458 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grey- | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | person70 | 55% | 92 |
| #3 | kdm87 | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | Vert | 53% | 102 |
| #5 | LaPine | 52% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | LaPine | 52% | 82 |
| #6 | Crispy | 52% | 216 |
| #7 | Saints | 50% | 94 |
| #8 | uhMeyer | 50% | 150 |
| #9 | life | 42% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crispy | 49 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | life | 31 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | person70 | 14 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | kdm87 | 10 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Saints | 6 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crispy | 1085 | 0.24 | 28 min |
| #2 | life | 440 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | uhMeyer | 405 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Saints | 341 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | LaPine | 273 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grey- | +2.11 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | ✪Traxs | +1.52 | 85 | 51 |
| #3 | person70 | +0.59 | 85 | 62 |
| #4 | Vert | +0.21 | 82 | 42 |
| #5 | uhMeyer | +0.08 | 81 | 59 |





