








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2970 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2860 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2709 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2411 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,331,290 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kdm87 | 57% | 159 |
| #2 | ✪Traxs | 55% | 92 |
| #3 | Vert | 54% | 269 |
| #4 | Crispy | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | LaPine | 51% | 282 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kdm87 | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Vert | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | uhMeyer | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ✪Traxs | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | LaPine | 6 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaPine | 869 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | uhMeyer | 790 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | kdm87 | 325 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Vert | 282 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | ✪Traxs | 166 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vert | +0.98 | 81 | 44 |
| #2 | ✪Traxs | +0.93 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | person70 | +0.44 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | kdm87 | +0.42 | 77 | 55 |
| #5 | uhMeyer | +0.15 | 81 | 63 |





