








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 775 | 25% |
| Smokes | 635 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1204 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 428 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $271,113 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rM | 48% | 54 |
| #2 | spqr | 47% | 38 |
| #3 | Catdaemon | 46% | 67 |
| #4 | spaghet | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | certifythat | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rM | 10 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | rM | 6 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | spqr | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Catdaemon | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spqr | 95 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Catdaemon | 62 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | rM | 57 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | rM | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pussycrunch | 19 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spaghet | +2.73 | 52 | 24 |
| #2 | Pussycrunch | +2.37 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | rM | +1.83 | 79 | 48 |
| #4 | rM | +0.70 | 76 | 47 |
| #5 | Crazy Dave | +0.22 | 31 | 66 |





