








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1556 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2935 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1250 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1757 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,257,162 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishbowlgamer32 | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | rM | 50% | 235 |
| #3 | certifythat | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | rM | 49% | 87 |
| #5 | Crazy Dave | 46% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | certifythat | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | rM | 49% | 87 |
| #5 | Crazy Dave | 46% | 67 |
| #6 | spqr | 46% | 221 |
| #7 | Pussycrunch | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rM | 22 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | rM | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | spqr | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Crazy Dave | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Pussycrunch | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spqr | 577 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | rM | 182 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Fishbowlgamer32 | 175 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Crazy Dave | 169 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pussycrunch | 88 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rM | +2.28 | 76 | 42 |
| #2 | rM | +1.96 | 78 | 44 |
| #3 | Fishbowlgamer32 | +1.75 | 80 | 58 |
| #4 | Crazy Dave | +0.25 | 30 | 65 |
| #5 | Catdaemon | -0.38 | 61 | 46 |





