








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1068 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1523 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1669 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 821 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,183,209 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 841 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishbowlgamer32 | 52% | 67 |
| #2 | Catdaemon | 50% | 235 |
| #3 | certifythat | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | Crazy Dave | 48% | 54 |
| #5 | spqr | 46% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Catdaemon | 50% | 235 |
| #3 | certifythat | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | Crazy Dave | 48% | 54 |
| #5 | spqr | 46% | 78 |
| #6 | Pussycrunch | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishbowlgamer32 | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | spqr | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Crazy Dave | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | certifythat | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Pussycrunch | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishbowlgamer32 | 254 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Catdaemon | 237 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | spqr | 186 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Crazy Dave | 151 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pussycrunch | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rM | +1.92 | 79 | 44 |
| #2 | Crazy Dave | +1.46 | 35 | 66 |
| #3 | Fishbowlgamer32 | +1.45 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | Pussycrunch | -1.06 | 65 | 41 |
| #5 | Catdaemon | -1.11 | 58 | 44 |





