








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,741 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 389 | 22% |
| Smokes | 346 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 451 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 555 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $303,612 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishbowlgamer32 | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | rM | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Catdaemon | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | rM | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Crazy Dave | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishbowlgamer32 | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | rM | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Catdaemon | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | rM | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Crazy Dave | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rM | 3 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | rM | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Fishbowlgamer32 | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Crazy Dave | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishbowlgamer32 | 48 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | Catdaemon | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | rM | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Crazy Dave | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | rM | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishbowlgamer32 | +3.33 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | rM | +3.14 | 76 | 50 |
| #3 | rM | +1.78 | 76 | 47 |
| #4 | spaghet | +0.40 | 54 | 33 |
| #5 | Catdaemon | -1.94 | 46 | 45 |





