








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2527 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3205 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2215 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2405 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,687 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | higu | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | gubbe | 59% | 184 |
| #4 | HAL 9000 | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | Tzone | 57% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gubbe | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Tzone | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | -Mel Gibson- | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | hebduL | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Sväne | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tzone | 716 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | hebduL | 328 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sväne | 323 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #4 | -Mel Gibson- | 306 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | gubbe | 212 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gubbe | +4.01 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | +3.07 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | Triba | +2.66 | 82 | 49 |
| #4 | matte | +1.45 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | higu | +0.73 | 72 | 56 |





