








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4923 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2741 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3102 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3458 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,144,378 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 360 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Splash | 75% | 32 |
| #2 | dan | 61% | 84 |
| #3 | Paul Breach | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | Jan Deag | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | Snazzy | 51% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | abdul | 49% | 77 |
| #7 | Franklin SkuIIfuck | 46% | 114 |
| #8 | jqmz | 44% | 68 |
| #9 | 42 Phantom | 42% | 33 |
| #10 | ZiMAN | 38% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abdul | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | jqmz | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | dan | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Franklin SkuIIfuck | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Snazzy | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Franklin SkuIIfuck | 464 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | Snazzy | 350 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | abdul | 213 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | ZiMAN | 196 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | jqmz | 171 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jqmz | +3.75 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | Splash | +2.09 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | Snazzy | +1.43 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | dan | +0.79 | 55 | 59 |
| #5 | ZiMAN | +0.65 | 75 | 60 |





