








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1091 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1162 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 957 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1105 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,892 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ninjamasterdave | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | swoorat | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Gonk | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | ketchup4sale | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | earth | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Paul Breach | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | bags | 44% | 68 |
| #9 | Franklin SkuIIfuck | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | Snazzy | 41% | 41 |
| #11 | bussy patrol | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abdul | 10 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | bags | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Snazzy | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | ketchup4sale | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | earth | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bags | 252 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Snazzy | 173 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | abdul | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | earth | 120 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | ketchup4sale | 53 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jqmz | +5.42 | 90 | 68 |
| #2 | Gonk | +0.63 | 65 | 59 |
| #3 | Snazzy | +0.33 | 71 | 53 |
| #4 | bags | -1.20 | 56 | 45 |
| #5 | swoorat | -1.42 | 45 | 60 |





