










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1566 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 898 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12480 | 32% |
| Smokes | 10049 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9119 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7427 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,565,430 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZiMAN | 34 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | 42 Phantom | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Jan Deag | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | bags | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Vladen the sexy rat | 10 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZiMAN | 1577 | 0.11 | 31 min |
| #2 | Vladen the sexy rat | 711 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #3 | Frank Skallebank | 469 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | Jan Deag | 457 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #5 | bags | 397 | 0.16 | 7 min |





