










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1619 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 718 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12463 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7067 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 11029 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7304 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,428,147 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Woolsock | 55% | 74 |
| #2 | Vladen | 55% | 139 |
| #3 | sodium | 54% | 148 |
| #4 | Lolismurf | 54% | 121 |
| #5 | Vladen the sexy rat | 52% | 581 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Franklin SkuIIfuck | 38 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | 42 Phantom | 20 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Frank Skallebank | 20 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Vladen the sexy rat | 18 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Lolismurf | 13 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Franklin SkuIIfuck | 1817 | 0.13 | 49 min |
| #2 | Vladen the sexy rat | 1336 | 0.11 | 34 min |
| #3 | Frank Skallebank | 866 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #4 | 42 Phantom | 667 | 0.05 | 15 min |
| #5 | sodium | 420 | 0.14 | 10 min |





