








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1370 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1763 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1203 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1249 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,918 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnathan Sins | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Paul Breach | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | Franklin SkuIIfuck | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | eskay | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Winnie | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | bags | 49% | 77 |
| #8 | Snazzy | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | earth | 46% | 28 |
| #10 | Gonk | 44% | 80 |
| #11 | bussy patrol | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bags | 10 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | jqmz | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Gonk | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | earth | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Snazzy | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bags | 285 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Gonk | 266 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | jqmz | 149 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | earth | 111 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Snazzy | 108 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jqmz | +5.08 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | Gonk | +2.45 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | Winnie | +2.11 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | Snazzy | +1.19 | 68 | 52 |
| #5 | Johnathan Sins | +1.01 | 58 | 67 |





