








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 221 | 9% |
| Smokes | 263 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1171 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 891 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,636 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 440 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | George from IT | 32% | 62 |
| #9 | ImaSnake | 29% | 86 |
| #10 | DiscountDoomslayer | 27% | 33 |
| #11 | I_Am_Spartan | 22% | 9 |
| #12 | Dr.PhilYT | 22% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny Shish | 21 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Squonk | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | kenny jams | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ImaSnake | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | George from IT | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DiscountDoomslayer | 197 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #2 | Donny Shish | 184 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | kenny jams | 151 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mark PubeAss | 125 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #5 | George from IT | 88 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny Shish | +7.23 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | kenny jams | +2.05 | 40 | 74 |
| #3 | Squonk | +0.19 | 36 | 16 |
| #4 | Mark PubeAss | -0.87 | 34 | 58 |
| #5 | DiscountDoomslayer | -1.05 | 33 | 74 |





