








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2171 | 35% |
| Smokes | 838 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1583 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1629 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,185 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 583 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1cko- | 45% | 11 |
| #2 | navvezzz LF1 | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Penthius | 40% | 25 |
| #4 | NW_ | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | PapaJonko | 33% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ღ 𝒩𝒾𝑒𝓀𝒿𝑒 ღ | 25% | 12 |
| #10 | Forsaken | 25% | 12 |
| #11 | Badmeester Joris | 19% | 16 |
| #12 | peekske | 18% | 11 |
| #13 | Polserulle | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaJonko | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | RQBassie | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | TAPED | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Penthius | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Polserulle | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RQBassie | 252 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Penthius | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | PapaJonko | 46 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Badmeester Joris | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | navvezzz LF1 | 30 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NW_ | +4.02 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | TAPED | +3.60 | 69 | 18 |
| #3 | navvezzz LF1 | +3.07 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | s1cko- | +2.81 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | Penthius | +2.18 | 67 | 41 |





