








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 608 | 24% |
| Smokes | 603 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 657 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 620 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $314,827 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | dedrateR | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | R3d4 | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | Regnar | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Aman | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Aman | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Noggenfogger | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | DingBuddy | 48% | 44 |
| #8 | Oogurt | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | Protege | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DingBuddy | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | R3d4 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Noggenfogger | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3d4 | 228 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #2 | DingBuddy | 129 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Protege | 56 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Noggenfogger | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aman | +5.86 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | DingBuddy | +2.70 | 92 | 67 |
| #3 | Noggenfogger | +0.71 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | Protege | +0.51 | 77 | 82 |
| #5 | AbrahamDrinkin | -0.32 | 74 | 56 |





