








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1937 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1183 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2852 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 1611 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 946 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,396 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | EdgeOfaKHole | 47% | 383 |
| #9 | Johnny Hollywood | 46% | 170 |
| #10 | Divine | 39% | 88 |
| #11 | TѲЖЇC Abstract | 38% | 39 |
| #12 | RedKing | 35% | 23 |





