








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 954 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4924 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5465 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5170 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4315 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $842,896 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Normaali | 71% | 45 |
| #2 | fredde | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 64% | 53 |
| #4 | Jahnu | 64% | 147 |
| #5 | BOogiee | 59% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | sevzix | 57% | 56 |
| #8 | diglu- | 57% | 233 |
| #9 | where tube? | 56% | 43 |
| #10 | ♥ᵘʷᵘ♥Kassu♥ᵘʷᵘ | 56% | 27 |
| #11 | jarxy | 55% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zni☁ | 21 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | BOogiee | 14 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Jahnu | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | diglu- | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | jarxy | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diglu- | 1132 | 0.24 | 24 min |
| #2 | zni☁ | 702 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | Jahnu | 388 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | where tube? | 294 | 0.34 | 7 min |
| #5 | BOogiee | 290 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Normaali | +3.67 | 90 | 71 |
| #2 | kaiser | +3.13 | 89 | 72 |
| #3 | zni☁ | +2.21 | 91 | 62 |
| #4 | BOogiee | +1.77 | 90 | 54 |
| #5 | retarded =Dsh00ter | +1.19 | 90 | 64 |





