








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 749 | 25% |
| Smokes | 648 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 592 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 950 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,468 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | zni☁ | 52% | 52 |
| #7 | diglu- | 47% | 90 |
| #8 | ♥ᵘʷᵘ♥Kassu♥ᵘʷᵘ | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | Yomad | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | fredde | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaiser | 17 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | zni☁ | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | diglu- | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | where tube? | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | ♥ᵘʷᵘ♥Kassu♥ᵘʷᵘ | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diglu- | 427 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | kaiser | 161 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | zni☁ | 134 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | where tube? | 97 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #5 | ♥ᵘʷᵘ♥Kassu♥ᵘʷᵘ | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaiser | +4.85 | 88 | 76 |
| #2 | zni☁ | +4.00 | 92 | 65 |
| #3 | fallujah | +3.15 | 80 | 67 |
| #4 | Jahnu | +2.23 | 87 | 59 |
| #5 | diglu- | -1.55 | 69 | 65 |





