








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1069 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3805 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3179 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4593 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3467 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,276 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 524 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Louna | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | fredde | 64% | 36 |
| #3 | Normaali | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 63% | 32 |
| #5 | BOogiee | 60% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | where tube? | 54% | 46 |
| #9 | diglu- | 53% | 295 |
| #10 | jarxy | 52% | 50 |
| #11 | sevzix | 52% | 52 |
| #12 | ♥ᵘʷᵘ♥Kassu♥ᵘʷᵘ | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaiser | 30 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | diglu- | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | BOogiee | 11 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Jahnu | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | ♥ᵘʷᵘ♥Kassu♥ᵘʷᵘ | 7 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diglu- | 1460 | 0.25 | 31 min |
| #2 | kaiser | 891 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #3 | Jahnu | 391 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | where tube? | 327 | 0.36 | 7 min |
| #5 | BOogiee | 179 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Louna | +3.84 | 71 | 70 |
| #2 | Normaali | +3.39 | 92 | 74 |
| #3 | kaiser | +3.01 | 89 | 73 |
| #4 | zni☁ | +2.87 | 91 | 63 |
| #5 | retarded =Dsh00ter | +1.62 | 92 | 66 |





