








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Faceit | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4363 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3997 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3093 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3474 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,611,137 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2579 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peltsibolognese | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | diglu- | 65% | 34 |
| #3 | TURTTEL! | 64% | 33 |
| #4 | tabuenca | 63% | 43 |
| #5 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 61% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | zni☁ | 60% | 47 |
| #7 | kaiser | 59% | 74 |
| #8 | Snowman | 58% | 50 |
| #9 | Ares | 56% | 73 |
| #10 | jarxy | 54% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ares | 20 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | jarxy | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | TURTTEL! | 10 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | peltsibolognese | 6 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 401 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | jarxy | 392 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | kaiser | 278 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Snowman | 240 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #5 | diglu- | 166 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tabuenca | +3.07 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | kaiser | +3.01 | 92 | 69 |
| #3 | retarded =Dsh00ter | +1.57 | 89 | 65 |
| #4 | BOogiee | +1.16 | 87 | 57 |
| #5 | peltsibolognese | +1.09 | 91 | 56 |





