








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
186 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 153 | 24% |
| Smokes | 164 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 155 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 155 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,751 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intricate | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | SeagullChokingOnAHotDog | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | HuntW1ck | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Shane216 | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Tugglebub | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tugglebub | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | Kise | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Mike | 29% | 7 |
| #8 | Cluuless | 17% | 6 |
| #9 | StitchesVT | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cluuless | 1 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intricate | 67 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | SeagullChokingOnAHotDog | 42 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Shane216 | 31 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | HuntW1ck | 26 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tugglebub | 26 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cluuless | +1.88 | 63 | 46 |
| #2 | Tugglebub | +0.69 | 96 | 65 |
| #3 | Shane216 | +0.50 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | Jalapiñecone | +0.23 | 56 | 52 |
| #5 | intricate | +0.03 | 77 | 66 |





