








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 151 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2600 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2017 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1493 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1533 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $867,810 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jase | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | küst3r | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | STEEEEELE | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Tugglebub | 48% | 166 |
| #5 | Exoskeletal | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Exoskeletal | 48% | 73 |
| #6 | Fidel Cashflow | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | andres | 47% | 85 |
| #8 | Cluuless | 41% | 78 |
| #9 | Kise | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tugglebub | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | andres | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Exoskeletal | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Cluuless | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | STEEEEELE | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tugglebub | 775 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | Cluuless | 257 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | andres | 242 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Exoskeletal | 231 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | STEEEEELE | 148 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tugglebub | +0.46 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Cluuless | +0.05 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | Exoskeletal | +0.04 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | andres | +0.02 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | Mike | -0.21 | 69 | 59 |





