








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 221 matches | ||
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3185 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4075 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5191 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2228 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4038 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,566,781 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ry^_^ | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | Parrish | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | wist | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | djtl | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | kam | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | sLug | 44% | 59 |
| #13 | Tugglebub | 44% | 87 |
| #14 | Mike | 41% | 78 |
| #15 | Exoskeletal | 38% | 39 |
| #16 | Reginaldboons | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | playstationpizza | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Tugglebub | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | andres | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Mike | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | sLug | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | playstationpizza | 529 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Tugglebub | 420 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | sLug | 246 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mike | 234 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | JAWA | 207 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djtl | +1.26 | 70 | 62 |
| #2 | kam | +1.06 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | Parrish | +0.57 | 74 | 38 |
| #4 | wist | +0.44 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | Tugglebub | +0.32 | 76 | 65 |





