








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2028 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1270 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 892 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1720 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $483,414 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | onebr0nizz | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Noodle | 76% | 45 |
| #3 | Babot! | 67% | 46 |
| #4 | ElDiab3tic | 67% | 30 |
| #5 | Tr15taN ☁ | 62% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kommissaire | 61% | 23 |
| #7 | FreeZe :) | 59% | 135 |
| #8 | Plutotito | 59% | 22 |
| #9 | Dave :) | 59% | 70 |
| #10 | Zib | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FreeZe :) | 17 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Tr15taN ☁ | 14 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | Dave :) | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Zib | 3 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | Noodle | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FreeZe :) | 618 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | Tr15taN ☁ | 174 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dave :) | 167 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Noodle | 161 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Plutotito | 116 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SleaZy | +4.02 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | Noodle | +3.84 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | Plutotito | +1.58 | 77 | 75 |
| #4 | FreeZe :) | +1.19 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | Tr15taN ☁ | +0.51 | 88 | 55 |





