








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3905 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3432 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4179 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3963 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,421 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike481 | 86% | 22 |
| #2 | Tr15taN ☁ | 78% | 41 |
| #3 | SleaZy | 76% | 45 |
| #4 | ★ MrPeKay ★ | 71% | 76 |
| #5 | goowne | 68% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Retarded Sloth Certified | 8 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | SleaZy | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Tr15taN ☁ | 6 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | KiCk!nG | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | SwiCH | 3 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noodle | +4.26 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | SleaZy | +3.90 | 80 | 55 |
| #3 | Retarded Sloth Certified | +3.89 | 90 | 62 |
| #4 | KiCk!nG | +3.50 | 85 | 80 |
| #5 | mike481 | +1.54 | 85 | 60 |





