








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3292 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2934 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4432 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2124 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $762,775 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | 74% | 39 |
| #2 | philippovic | 71% | 28 |
| #3 | :)German | 70% | 135 |
| #4 | Ace | 69% | 93 |
| #5 | Roger Sterling | 67% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | bert ⛟ | 45% | 49 |
| #11 | o45 Lauツ | 44% | 57 |
| #12 | Roobismeister | 40% | 35 |
| #13 | cyko^ | 36% | 36 |
| #14 | Smithy | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)German | 16 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | 15 | 0.0208 |
| #3 | Ace | 12 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | bert ⛟ | 11 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | L_patschi | 10 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)German | 316 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ace | 187 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | bert ⛟ | 142 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | $𝟒₥𝟒₦₮Ⱨ𝟒 ツ | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | cyko^ | 78 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BaNaNa-X99 | +3.43 | 66 | 52 |
| #2 | :)German | +3.26 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | philippovic | +2.62 | 85 | 71 |
| #4 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | +2.51 | 89 | 57 |
| #5 | bert ⛟ | +2.07 | 81 | 74 |





