








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1920 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 896 matches | ||
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




161 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10371 | 21% |
| Smokes | 12970 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 15983 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 10569 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,388,063 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BartosPeek | 90% | 121 |
| #2 | MYDex⚡⚡ | 89% | 71 |
| #3 | Poatan | 85% | 88 |
| #4 | 水 | 83% | 118 |
| #5 | Roger Sterling | 82% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)German | 160 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | 139 | 0.0200 |
| #3 | philippovic | 65 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | L_patschi | 59 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | $𝟒₥𝟒₦₮Ⱨ𝟒 ツ | 29 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)German | 2378 | 0.12 | 79 min |
| #2 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | 771 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | L_patschi | 487 | 0.06 | 15 min |
| #4 | $𝟒₥𝟒₦₮Ⱨ𝟒 ツ | 475 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #5 | philippovic | 317 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)German | +3.76 | 80 | 65 |
| #2 | Roger Sterling | +2.61 | 83 | 74 |
| #3 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | +2.18 | 91 | 55 |
| #4 | Ace | +1.99 | 51 | 79 |
| #5 | philippovic | +1.67 | 84 | 68 |





