








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 1197 matches | ||
| Premier | 384 matches | ||
| Wingman | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




267 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
19587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 54,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8868 | 16% |
| Smokes | 17637 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 15374 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 13000 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,864,942 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BartosPeek | 89% | 203 |
| #2 | Poatan | 89% | 122 |
| #3 | MYDex⚡⚡ | 84% | 148 |
| #4 | ✪ B4SH3R ✪ | 83% | 139 |
| #5 | Papa Gordo | 83% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | 194 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | Ace | 143 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | L_patschi | 92 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | philippovic | 82 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | Roger Sterling | 47 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ace | 2357 | 0.12 | 85 min |
| #2 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | 1126 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #3 | L_patschi | 874 | 0.06 | 26 min |
| #4 | $𝟒₥𝟒₦₮Ⱨ𝟒 ツ | 704 | 0.05 | 20 min |
| #5 | philippovic | 386 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)German | +4.02 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | +2.22 | 90 | 57 |
| #3 | philippovic | +2.04 | 85 | 69 |
| #4 | Ace | +1.94 | 50 | 82 |
| #5 | Roger Sterling | +1.83 | 83 | 73 |





