








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 507 matches | ||
| Premier | 330 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4516 | 18% |
| Smokes | 7109 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7609 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6271 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,485,752 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11794 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BartosPeek | 92% | 90 |
| #2 | Roger Sterling | 77% | 130 |
| #3 | Ace | 77% | 431 |
| #4 | philippovic | 76% | 171 |
| #5 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | 73% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | :)German | 72% | 731 |
| #7 | Frøsτ★ | 67% | 54 |
| #8 | 水 | 67% | 66 |
| #9 | $𝟒₥𝟒₦₮Ⱨ𝟒 ツ | 67% | 261 |
| #10 | kuckuck | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)German | 127 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | 85 | 0.0203 |
| #3 | Ace | 48 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | philippovic | 27 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Roger Sterling | 20 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)German | 1434 | 0.10 | 46 min |
| #2 | Ace | 928 | 0.11 | 34 min |
| #3 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | 488 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | $𝟒₥𝟒₦₮Ⱨ𝟒 ツ | 269 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | kuckuck | 190 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuckuck | +5.16 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | :)German | +4.11 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | Roger Sterling | +2.13 | 85 | 74 |
| #4 | Ace | +2.00 | 50 | 79 |
| #5 | ⚡MiiWAY⚡ | +1.99 | 89 | 52 |





