








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1686 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 124 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4918 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3584 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2874 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3964 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,775,291 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XxSOUTAxX | 664 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | desho | 464 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #3 | [FaKe]ZIFU | 225 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | ぶーじー | 222 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | ボット Lillie | 214 | 0.26 | 5 min |





