








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 513 | 48% |
| Smokes | 304 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 39 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 208 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $92,325 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyrex | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Lync007 | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Spiffy0 | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Pixelated Prophecy TTV | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | MrsSpiffy | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lync007 | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Spiffy0 | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Pixelated Prophecy TTV | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | MrsSpiffy | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | M1n1maL | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lync007 | 12 | 0.0315 |
| #2 | M1n1maL | 9 | 0.0378 |
| #3 | Pixelated Prophecy TTV | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Spiffy0 | 2 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Pyrex | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lync007 | 108 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #2 | Pyrex | 75 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | M1n1maL | 48 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pixelated Prophecy TTV | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | MrsSpiffy | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1n1maL | +7.14 | 81 | 43 |
| #2 | Pyrex | +6.76 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | Lync007 | +1.73 | 74 | 41 |
| #4 | Ajax | +1.09 | 82 | 47 |
| #5 | Spiffy0 | -0.27 | 83 | 58 |





