








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 596 | 29% |
| Smokes | 570 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 524 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 398 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,301 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spiffy0 | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | R乙A | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Ajax | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | Lync007 | 63% | 27 |
| #5 | M1n1maL | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lync007 | 63% | 27 |
| #5 | M1n1maL | 58% | 24 |
| #6 | MrsSpiffy | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | B&M Bargain Enjoyer | 50% | 6 |
| #8 | Pixelated Prophecy TTV | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lync007 | 6 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Ajax | 5 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | M1n1maL | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Pixelated Prophecy TTV | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Spiffy0 | 2 | 0.0206 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lync007 | 185 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #2 | M1n1maL | 120 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ajax | 72 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | R乙A | 47 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #5 | B&M Bargain Enjoyer | 18 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B&M Bargain Enjoyer | +3.95 | 88 | 52 |
| #2 | M1n1maL | +3.15 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | Pyrex | +3.10 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | Ajax | +1.15 | 85 | 46 |
| #5 | Spiffy0 | +0.38 | 74 | 56 |





