








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1475 | 40% |
| Smokes | 911 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 620 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 690 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,688 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrsSpiffy | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Spiffy0 | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Pyrex | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | B&M Bargain Enjoyer | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | R乙A | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | B&M Bargain Enjoyer | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | R乙A | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | M1n1maL | 55% | 42 |
| #7 | Ajax | 52% | 21 |
| #8 | Pixelated Prophecy TTV | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1n1maL | 9 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Ajax | 3 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Spiffy0 | 3 | 0.0146 |
| #4 | Pixelated Prophecy TTV | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Pyrex | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1n1maL | 192 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Pyrex | 76 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ajax | 74 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | R乙A | 49 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | B&M Bargain Enjoyer | 21 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B&M Bargain Enjoyer | +3.85 | 87 | 49 |
| #2 | M1n1maL | +3.11 | 86 | 61 |
| #3 | Pyrex | +2.46 | 87 | 51 |
| #4 | Lync007 | -0.10 | 75 | 53 |
| #5 | Ajax | -0.85 | 80 | 43 |





