








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 230 | 28% |
| Smokes | 304 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 123 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 162 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $40,813 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SerumTryNoob | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | CRUNK | 36% | 11 |
| #3 | POCKET | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | ✪ Absolute | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | duw | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CRUNK | 36% | 11 |
| #3 | POCKET | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | ✪ Absolute | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | duw | 29% | 7 |
| #6 | Pr1me | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRUNK | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRUNK | 57 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | SerumTryNoob | 52 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪ Absolute | 33 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | duw | 23 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pr1me | 12 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRUNK | +1.16 | 92 | 60 |
| #2 | SerumTryNoob | +1.12 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | hype ☔ | +0.78 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | ✪ Absolute | -0.38 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | Pr1me | -1.23 | 70 | 60 |





