








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,320 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3137 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2217 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1652 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2314 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $375,060 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | cKg | 52% | 44 |
| #7 | Nicky Pie | 50% | 28 |
| #8 | Pakalaka60 | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | Japswole | 45% | 20 |
| #10 | gamble | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pakalaka60 | 10 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | Nicky Pie | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Japswole | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | cKg | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Rey Cherlez | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SerumTryNoob | 432 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #2 | gamble | 156 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | deL. | 125 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | cKg | 69 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nicky Pie | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr1me | +3.94 | 93 | 64 |
| #2 | SerumTryNoob | +0.96 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | 0nEl0vE_3m | +0.93 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | cKg | +0.77 | 91 | 56 |
| #5 | deL. | -0.09 | 76 | 62 |





