








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 222 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3984 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3078 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1888 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2628 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,900 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solunar | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | love | 74% | 19 |
| #3 | CRUNK | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | Cyrix | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | brett | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | :) | 56% | 27 |
| #8 | cKg | 55% | 20 |
| #9 | Pr1me | 55% | 64 |
| #10 | gamble | 54% | 35 |
| #11 | rain | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | POCKET | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | CRUNK | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Solunar | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr1me | 304 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | CRUNK | 187 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | gamble | 178 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | POCKET | 161 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | brett | 137 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRUNK | +2.44 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | rain | +2.01 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | love | +1.84 | 95 | 54 |
| #4 | Cyrix | +1.80 | 89 | 68 |
| #5 | Pr1me | +1.76 | 89 | 65 |





