








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3051 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2923 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2399 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1892 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,773 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Venlaino | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Hobo with Shotgun | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | tukisukka | 49% | 57 |
| #4 | ThöNunna | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | j4Nu | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | R Ö P Ö | 41% | 17 |
| #11 | relaxantt1 | 41% | 39 |
| #12 | PapaAntabus | 38% | 29 |
| #13 | Ringo | 35% | 20 |
| #14 | PARRUHande | 31% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pewpew | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Hobo with Shotgun | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | j4Nu | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Ringo | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | ThöRölli | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tukisukka | 176 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Hobo with Shotgun | 142 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | ThöRölli | 141 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | ThöNunna | 126 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | j4Nu | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThöNunna | +2.56 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | ThöRölli | +2.00 | 67 | 51 |
| #3 | Hobo with Shotgun | +0.69 | 49 | 62 |
| #4 | Ar§K@ | +0.24 | 47 | 67 |
| #5 | j4Nu | -0.17 | 37 | 70 |





