








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 278 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3244 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3722 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2907 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3306 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,014,158 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lukash1510 | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Brain | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | frsH^ | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | K3v | 60% | 62 |
| #5 | Henra21 | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | mo | 55% | 40 |
| #11 | Kronuk | 54% | 243 |
| #12 | Frodo | 54% | 54 |
| #13 | lukaS | 52% | 23 |
| #14 | f1psyy =DD | 46% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K3v | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | mo | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Kronuk | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | +49neuerung | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | f1psyy =DD | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kronuk | 528 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | f1psyy =DD | 447 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | +49neuerung | 255 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Casper35k | 172 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Setech | 134 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henra21 | +2.82 | 71 | 44 |
| #2 | lukash1510 | +2.61 | 92 | 55 |
| #3 | Brain | +2.14 | 86 | 66 |
| #4 | mo | +1.92 | 68 | 49 |
| #5 | Casper35k | +1.51 | 77 | 76 |





