








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 560 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8626 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8507 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9279 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 9083 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,118,320 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 719 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Setech | 55% | 310 |
| #9 | +49neuerung | 53% | 189 |
| #10 | ✠ ERZ ✠ | 52% | 84 |
| #11 | K3v | 46% | 37 |
| #12 | f1psyy =DD | 44% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Setech | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | +49neuerung | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | makz | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | K3v | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Detektive i dog your mom | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Setech | 1118 | 0.16 | 28 min |
| #2 | f1psyy =DD | 477 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | +49neuerung | 468 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | DerAless -iwnl- | 290 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | Kronuk | 230 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makz | +1.99 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | Henra21 | +1.99 | 70 | 52 |
| #3 | Casper35k | +1.66 | 80 | 75 |
| #4 | mo | +1.37 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | Detektive i dog your mom | +0.69 | 75 | 57 |





